My heart is hurting today. Funny how stuff comes at you when you least expect it to. I had to tell my son not to call me until he decides to get into treatment. I felt pretty good about that and slept very well last night (I turned my phone off just in case). I know I will feel better later on but right now I just feel sad. I guess they call that feeling grief.
Ron suggested that when he stopped trying to "fix" his son that he got to the point that he felt more part of the solution than enmeshed in the problem. Those were not exactly the word he used but close. I feel like by not allowing my son to be in my house, eat my food, have access to my computer and not allowing him to contact me by phone that I am making it a little harder for him to continue to have those basic comforts and continue to use drugs.
Praying that we all are able to have a peace filled weekend and that our kids find their own brand of peace as well.
Sending you a hug. Its hard to have these days where you just feel sad, and justifiably so. None of us signed up for this, its not in the parenting manuals, we just have to do the best we can and rely on the experiences and wisdom of others who've been there. (Ron doesn't like it when I say he is wise....so I'll just say he's a wise-ass) Hope you feel better. I'm in a similar place today. :(
ReplyDeleteThanks Barbara! A hug always helps. Another thing that helped today is that my grandson's mom asked if I could babysit tomorrow so that she can pick up a few more hours at work. So, I have that to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon as well. Addiction sucks for us all doesn't it? So much for the argument "I'm not hurting anybody"!
I don't know Ron but I the sneaking suspicion that your assessment of him could be correct. ;)
HEY!!! I resemble that remark!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that I have been there and no matter how much I knew that I needed to not let him come home, I was filled with hurt knowing that in his drug addict mind he truly felt that I didn't love him. For now we are in a better place and he is well aware of how much I love him, but those memories still hurt me. I can only say that had I not done that he would not be sober today and back home, something he agrees with and actually thanks me for. My prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tori. I am just so tired of this all. I wish I could wake up and find out it was just a terrible nightmare.
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