Over reacting?

My daughter reminded me yesterday that she is not her brother and did so rather loudly before having a friend come to pick her up. She just graduated from high school a couple of weeks ago and has been in full celebration mode since. I'm afraid that last night I drew some comparisons between her behavior and her brother's behavior and made some allegations that may or may not have held any merit. I am just scared that she will fall into the same abyss that he has. I don't want to lose another child.

The Eyes have it!

I have read several posts, mostly from mother's, that said that they could look at their kid's eyes and know whether or not they had been using. I have told my son for about 3 years that he can't lie to me because all I have to do is look at his eyes. Those of you that have opiate addicts for children know for sure what I am talking about.

Well, he didn't come back to my house last night like he promised. I was pretty worried about what we would be dealing with today. He called this morning and asked if I would pick him up because the friend that was supposed to bring him home last night didn't show up. Of course I did. Well, his eyes were clear but it looked like he had been up all night. I can deal with that.

Right now it looks like we have had 4 good days. I'll take that!

Peace and love,
Terri

You Must Meet Them Where They Are

I heard that from someone. I have been working on that with my son. He is an addict but he is also my wonderful, beautiful son. I am learning to seperate the two. I really, really don't like the addict. I don't like the way he looks, behaves, speaks and even the way he smells. When the addict walks into the same room I am in I instantly tense up and recoil from him. When my son walks in and his eyes are full of light, I smile and my heart fills with hope.

So, where are we at today? 3 good days! Yeah, I know that it is Friday and it is very early to be "counting my chickens". But for now I am thankful. My son has had a job for 3 whole weeks. He is a server in a restaurant. He likes the job and has made it every day so far. When he is at my house he rides with me to work. One day this week he actually said, "Mom, if you don't hurry up I am going to be late!" You all know how happy that made me! Of course I got him there in plenty of time.

Today I stopped by his work to take something he needed to him. He was in his element. Smiling and waiting on his customers and they were responding to him. He is really a good guy when he is sober. People have always been drawn to him.....when he is sober. The addict has driven so many people away, but the sober son draws them to him.

My son's soon to be ex-wife, brought my 8 month old grandson to me today and we a had a wonderful 2 hour play date. It makes me sad that she won't let my son see him right now so that means when my son is here my grandson can't be. But, that is where we are at today. Tomorrow or next week might be different. My son knows he has to prove that he can safely be with his son and that he must be willing to provide for his son before he does anything else (eg. spend his pay check on drugs and booze).

So, today (early in the day on a Friday) we are in a good place.

Blessings to you all. Thank you for receiving me into your "family".

First Post

I'm not ready today to share the story up to this point. I am sure it is a story that will evolve and develop over time. I am ready to say that my son has had two great days and for this I am thankful.