A friend of my husband's called him today because he just learned that his son is addicted to Oxycontin. He stole his mother's credit card over the Thanksgiving Holiday and stole checks from his grandmother. This young man is 24 years old. He is very talented and very bright as most of our addicted children are. His family is offering to get help for him but he is not open to the idea.
Again, I have to say that I hate being the go to people when someone has a kid that falls into this path of destruction but I am glad if we can offer anything that might help them at this time.
It hurts my heart to think of another family going through what our family has gone through.
Please add this young man and his family to your thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving Day will so different from Last year.
Last year was spent in a quiet and reflective mode. My son had just gotten into a rehab, my older son and his wife were with her family. My grandson was with his mother. It was a rather somber day for me.
This year I will be in the midst of all my siblings (4 sisters and a brother) and their families, my parents, my children, husband and my grandson. There will be close to 30 people there in all. We will laugh and tell stories about growing up in such a large family. We will celebrate the fact that we are all able to be together in the same place again. It will be loud and we will have a great time.
My son is still struggling and probably will for some time. But, today he is sober and is struggling with a clear mind and some determination to make things better.
For this I am thankful.
Hope you all find some peace this Thanksgiving.
Last year was spent in a quiet and reflective mode. My son had just gotten into a rehab, my older son and his wife were with her family. My grandson was with his mother. It was a rather somber day for me.
This year I will be in the midst of all my siblings (4 sisters and a brother) and their families, my parents, my children, husband and my grandson. There will be close to 30 people there in all. We will laugh and tell stories about growing up in such a large family. We will celebrate the fact that we are all able to be together in the same place again. It will be loud and we will have a great time.
My son is still struggling and probably will for some time. But, today he is sober and is struggling with a clear mind and some determination to make things better.
For this I am thankful.
Hope you all find some peace this Thanksgiving.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Oh why did I answer the phone!
me - Hey how are you?
him - almost not audible, "I don't know"
me - what's going on?
him - "I don't know"
me - what happened?
him - "nothing I guess"
me - Did you hear about your job?
him -" no, I am afraid it didn't go how I thought it would."
me - Why? If they sent you for a drug test they want to hire you.
him - "I'm afraid it didn't go the way I thought it would."
me - Why?
him - "I don't know."
him - "have you heard from A?"
me - Not since yesterday. Why?
him - "I have a feeling she isn't going to let D come with you"
me - Why?
him - "I don't know"
him - "I have another phone call, hold on"
me - OK
me - so who was that?
him- "a debt collector"
me - you have a lot of unfinished business to take care of. It is not going to disappear.
him - "I know"
me - I love you. I'll see you on Wednesday.
him - "I love you too"
Still thankful he is where he is instead of where he was.
him - almost not audible, "I don't know"
me - what's going on?
him - "I don't know"
me - what happened?
him - "nothing I guess"
me - Did you hear about your job?
him -" no, I am afraid it didn't go how I thought it would."
me - Why? If they sent you for a drug test they want to hire you.
him - "I'm afraid it didn't go the way I thought it would."
me - Why?
him - "I don't know."
him - "have you heard from A?"
me - Not since yesterday. Why?
him - "I have a feeling she isn't going to let D come with you"
me - Why?
him - "I don't know"
him - "I have another phone call, hold on"
me - OK
me - so who was that?
him- "a debt collector"
me - you have a lot of unfinished business to take care of. It is not going to disappear.
him - "I know"
me - I love you. I'll see you on Wednesday.
him - "I love you too"
Still thankful he is where he is instead of where he was.
November 19, 2011
A year ago on this date our family was waiting for a bed to come open for our son in a state funded rehab facility. Wondering if he would stick around for the 3 or 4 days that it was going to take for that to happen and if he did stick around would he manage to not use for that amount of time?
Re-reading the post that I wrote that day brought back all of those feelings of anxiety and fear that I felt during that time.
He got into a facility just a few days after that but it wasn't "the time" that he would stay clean. In fact he got booted from rehab for inappropriate contact with a female resident and they left together and went on a 2 week binge. Which was one of several binges before he hopped a bus and moved to a different state for six months.
Today is a different day. My son is living with my mom and dad, he is looking for a job near their home and is looking forward to having his son with him for Thanksgiving. He will be able to have him from Wednesday evening until around noon on Sunday.
He still has some outstanding warrants that he is going to have to deal with at some point. I have reminded him that they don't just go away and that the situation could just get worse the longer that he ignores it. What he decides to do will be up to him and only he can deal with the consequences.
I don't know that this is "the time" that my son will decide to not pick up again. Today I am just thankful that he is alive, healthy and sober.
That is a lot to be thankful for!
Re-reading the post that I wrote that day brought back all of those feelings of anxiety and fear that I felt during that time.
He got into a facility just a few days after that but it wasn't "the time" that he would stay clean. In fact he got booted from rehab for inappropriate contact with a female resident and they left together and went on a 2 week binge. Which was one of several binges before he hopped a bus and moved to a different state for six months.
Today is a different day. My son is living with my mom and dad, he is looking for a job near their home and is looking forward to having his son with him for Thanksgiving. He will be able to have him from Wednesday evening until around noon on Sunday.
He still has some outstanding warrants that he is going to have to deal with at some point. I have reminded him that they don't just go away and that the situation could just get worse the longer that he ignores it. What he decides to do will be up to him and only he can deal with the consequences.
I don't know that this is "the time" that my son will decide to not pick up again. Today I am just thankful that he is alive, healthy and sober.
That is a lot to be thankful for!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Blessed
I enjoyed another good weekend with my son, his son, my oldest son, his wife and even my daughter showed her pretty little, semi-independent face. We all gathered at my mom and dad's house with most of my siblings, their spouses and children.
It was wonderful to watch my three adult children enjoy each other's company. They laughed so much during this visit. I started to feel that some of the hurts between them were beginning to heal. My daughter-in-law even joined in. My son stole money from her purse during one particular episode just before he left the state and this was after my older son had gone and gotten him out of jail and allowed him to "sleep it off" at their house. So, her forgiveness is huge.
My son was attentive to the needs of his son. They were pretty much inseparable during their time together. My son even allowed the grandson to sleep on the air mattress with him on the floor instead of with me. That is how it should be.
It was a beautiful fall weekend in the hills of the Ozarks. The trees were at their peak fall colors. My parents live in the country in a valley surrounded by all of this fall color. When we pulled up to their house on Friday night we saw 5 deer in their front yard. Pretty awesome!
I lived there for years and took all of this beauty for granted. I try not to take anything for granted anymore. Not my health, not my children's health and certainly not my son's sobriety. I intend to enjoy each day of it with him.
Today I feel particularly blessed!
It was wonderful to watch my three adult children enjoy each other's company. They laughed so much during this visit. I started to feel that some of the hurts between them were beginning to heal. My daughter-in-law even joined in. My son stole money from her purse during one particular episode just before he left the state and this was after my older son had gone and gotten him out of jail and allowed him to "sleep it off" at their house. So, her forgiveness is huge.
My son was attentive to the needs of his son. They were pretty much inseparable during their time together. My son even allowed the grandson to sleep on the air mattress with him on the floor instead of with me. That is how it should be.
It was a beautiful fall weekend in the hills of the Ozarks. The trees were at their peak fall colors. My parents live in the country in a valley surrounded by all of this fall color. When we pulled up to their house on Friday night we saw 5 deer in their front yard. Pretty awesome!
I lived there for years and took all of this beauty for granted. I try not to take anything for granted anymore. Not my health, not my children's health and certainly not my son's sobriety. I intend to enjoy each day of it with him.
Today I feel particularly blessed!
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