I have read several posts, mostly from mother's, that said that they could look at their kid's eyes and know whether or not they had been using. I have told my son for about 3 years that he can't lie to me because all I have to do is look at his eyes. Those of you that have opiate addicts for children know for sure what I am talking about.
Well, he didn't come back to my house last night like he promised. I was pretty worried about what we would be dealing with today. He called this morning and asked if I would pick him up because the friend that was supposed to bring him home last night didn't show up. Of course I did. Well, his eyes were clear but it looked like he had been up all night. I can deal with that.
Right now it looks like we have had 4 good days. I'll take that!
Peace and love,
Terri
My son would look at me with THOSE EYES and deny, deny, deny that he was high. It was like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar that denies he was trying to take a cookie. They really think by denying it, they can get away with it.
ReplyDeleteYay for DAY FOUR! Reading your blog takes me back to when I counted days, its a hard way to live.
I remember looking at myself in the mirror one morning after 2 hits of heroin. Far as I was concerned I felt perfectly OK and good to go. I was about to leave the house to do "normal" shopping (as opposed to scoring).
ReplyDeleteWell I might have felt "OK", but my eyes told another story. Not so much pinpoint pupils as barely any pupils at all. To be honest the state I was in, I'm surprised I was able to stand up, let alone wobble round a supermarket to buy in food before the rest of the money I had left went on more drugs...
What gets me, looking back, is that heroin barely ever made me feel very much better than an enhanced version of normal. It's certainly no wonder-drug. And yet I spent enough money on it over the years probably to buy a small house. Looking back, I just don't understand it.
I won't go on about myself, you've probably had a lifetime worth of junkies already. What I really wanted to say is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ~ you know what I mean.
:-)
My son would do everything in his power to NOT make eye contact when he was in active addiction. Now that he has some clean time under his belt, he still tends to divert his eyes from me. I have to remind him to look me in the eyes. After years of the habit, I suppose it is tough to retrain himself on the simplest of things.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your comments. Glenwood, I love you for being honest! Thank you for sharing that with me.I am so sure my addict really, really thinks that his eyes don't change. Peace and serenity to you.
ReplyDeleteBabara and notmyboy, I have been there and done that with you both. Praying for better days.
Happy memorial day to all of you, hope it will be memorial for all the good reasons!
Terri
I am always looking at the my son's eyes when I see him, not sure why because there are so many other ways to tell he is high. Nowadays I just pray for acceptance of what is and enjoy the moments with him when I can. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteEven after 20-some months clean, I still look at my Son2's eyes... I suppose I always will. I wish you peace, and hope...
ReplyDeleteEven after a year clean I still look at his eyes and then look at everyone elses eyes around the dinner table to make sure my son's pupils are the same size as everyone elses. Like Momma said I think I always will......... Praying for you and your precious son.
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