We had a very calm conversation with my son last night. Or rather we talked and he listened. I simply told him what I was and wasn't willing to do for him and then my husband did the same. I told him what he does with his life is really not my business and if he decides to live a life of addiction he will have to leave my home. We told him if we even suspect drug use we will test him and if he tests positive he will be asked to leave. There will be no begging, pleading or crying...he will just leave.
I told him that none of what I said had anything to do with him. It is all about protecting myself from his addiction. I can't and won't go through that with him again. If he makes the choice to use then he is on his own and out of my life until he is sober.
He cried a little. He didn't argue. Said he understood and didn't have anything to add to our list or have any discussion about the list.
I felt completely peaceful afterward. It is just where I am right now and this is not a bad place to be at all. For today I am resolved to take care of myself, honor my limits and protect my boundaries. FORCE FIELD ACTIVATED! ;-)
Praying for peace for us all.
Sounds very good. You can't help them when they are ready until you are healthy.
ReplyDeleteHa! I love that! It sounds like you are doing so good. Inspiring to the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteWow...yes, inspiring. So happy for your ability to create peace for yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou are the BOSS! It's your place, your life, your everything that is at stake.
ReplyDeleteTerri - That's probably exactly what he needed to hear. I wish only the best for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteAgain, Thank you all. I wouldn't be in this peaceful spot without all of you. I could see a little bit around the next corner because of what you have shared. It so helped prepare me for this. Those of you that share about your children's sobriety give me hope that my son will one day reach that place.
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