When I spoke to my son the other evening and I talked about what I was willing to do for him and what I can no longer do for him I told him that all the recovering addicts that I talk tell me that every addict needs at least one dependable co-dependent enabler to make using drugs and alcohol easier for them. First, I think he was shocked that I have taken the time to learn more about addiction and that I actually talk to folks in recovery. Secondly, I think he was shocked when he heard me say, "I know that I have been your enabler. I don't want to do that anymore. I won't take part in you killing yourself and I love you too much to watch you do it".
You know, just saying those words out loud to him were so freeing. I meant them with all my being. I said them with love, without anger and without resentment. As the saying goes, "It is what it is".
I know that I will have sad and difficult days with regard to him. But today is a great day! I never really thought I could feel this peaceful again. Maybe I have never felt it.
Wishing all you a peace filled Wednesday. You are all in my prayers.
I applaud you for your discussion with him. Despite all that they do it still isn't fair if we change the rules and not tell them. Even with the addiction we have to remember that there is still a person inside there.
ReplyDeleteRon,
ReplyDeleteThanks for that! I never really thought about it that way but of course you are right. He doens't know what is allowed and not allowed unless I tell him.