My son has been in our home for a little over 3 weeks now. He hasn't left the house other to go with us to visit family and outside to smoke. As far as I know he is only talking to a couple of people from rehab and his baby's mom (who is actually still his wife). He is really not doing anything but eating and sleeping at the moment.
He came and sat on the end of my bed one evening when we were at home alone. He apologized for hurting me when he was using. Then he launched into the story of how he started using opiates, when he used a needle the first time and what triggered the last two years of chaos. He started abusing opiates after he had surgery on his wrist. He was prescribed pain medication but I monitored that very closely, he was 15 when this happened. An adult neighbor offered him some Oxycontin around this same time and he said he was instantly in love with that high. That was the beginning. This same neighbor ran a construction business in addition to his drug selling business. He let my son work for him in exchange for oxy. Makes my head spin to think about it. My son said the first thing he shot up was meth and coke but he preferred opiates.
As a result of the injury that made the surgery necessary my son was awarded an insurance settlement. This was to be used for college. He was receiving a $3,000 check every six months starting when he turned 18. He did use a couple of those checks for college expenses, the rest have been used for drugs. He recieved his last check in December of 2010. That is when things really started going downhill fast. He spent about $2500 in 6 weeks. He and his wife and baby were living with us at the time. This is also about the time he started stealing from us. His wife and baby moved out in February of 2011. Almost exactly one year ago now.
I let him know that as far as I am concerned there is no anger and I have pretty much let the past go. I am only concerned for what he manages to do today.
Some todays are easier to stay in than others. I have to work at it all the time.
Hugs to you... I know it is awful. You ar right, be in today. That is what works for me.
ReplyDeleteMy son started with oxi too. Just a friend gave him a few, then that friend introduced him to his dealer. Soon my son was selling in order to keep up his habit. The dealer was a a woman in her 40's with two teenage kids just a tad younger than my son. She had it made, her kids brought around many teens for her to give drugs to and then turn them in to mini dealers. It disgust me when I think about it, she had so many teens living in her big house behind gates. I am not sure what happened other than she lost her house. I was so happy to hear that.
ReplyDeleteSadly she is still around both of her kids addicted to drugs. I had turned her in but it takes months and by then she had moved and nothing was ever done. For some reason I never guessed he was getting drugs from her. To this day I think if I ran in to her I would not be able to contain my anger. And yes I understand my son could have said no but she supplied numerous drugs to numerous teenagers and the things that went on in her home is disgusting.
Anyway, I try to let go of the past it isn't really the past that haunts me it is the schedule he has now which in reality I am blessed but mostly it is worrying about the future. He thinks differently and says and does some really stupid things that i just pray will go away as he matures and has more sobriety under his belt.
I guess we are on the same path. I don't always know my place and I still do too much for him and I need to chill out.
Tori,
ReplyDeleteThe guy that was selling to my son also had teenagers in the house. His wife knew what was going on. They lived right across the street from us. We would not give permission for my son to be there but that didn't stop him. The teenaged son (now an adult) told me recently that his dad used to lock my son in a room upstairs to keep him from coming home messed up. They knew we would call the police out to the home. Their children were removed from them, they ended up going bankrupt and losing their home but that didn't stop them. The man went to prision and was on parole when he was busted for manufactuing meth last fall. His 26 year old son is facing 29 felony charges and the 26 year old's 4 year old son tested positive for meth via a hair follicle test. Drug addiction is very much a family disease in that family. I just don't get it. I could write volumes but like I said earlier, all of us POAs have a similar story to tell.
Take care and thank you for commenting and sharing that with me.