A New Rule For Me

I have decided that I will not answer unknown phone numbers. We didn't reactivate my son's phone after he got out of rehab. Now I have many numbers that he has called from in the past 8 days. This proves that if he wants to make a call he can get access to a phone.

This morning my phone started ringing and I just had a feeling that it was him. I didn't answer it and he left a voice message telling me that he has a place to stay until he "gets on his feet" and that he has no explanation for the recent turn of events but that he is sorry and he loves me. Oh, and to tell his son that he loves him when I see him.

I am glad that I didn't talk to him. I'm feeling better this morning but I am not ready to deal with him. He sounded sober but who knows? Isn't funny that we know what "sounding sober" is! LOL

If I do talk to him at some point I will let him know what my new rule is. I will tell him that he can leave a message and give me the choice whether to call him back or not.

My oldest son was so ratteld by yesterday that he we asked him to spend the evening with us. His wife was out of town. We had some pretty frank conversations. He loves his brother but he understands that he can't help him. It was really good to have him here with us.

I slept off and on all day yesterday and 12.5 hours last night. I don't know if it is because of this bug that I have or stress. Maybe a combo of the both?

Thank you for all of your supportive comments. I REALLY am not sure I would be doing as well as I am without you. I read about those of you that have kids in recovery and that helps me to retain hope. When I read about all of you living daily with the knowledge that your kids are in active addiction and how you cope and read the comments that we leave for each other, that gives me strength to move forward in my recovery.

Happy Saturday!