I can see my son getting more and more depressed and anxious. I am working hard not to absorb any of that from him. He asked his son's mom if he could keep the baby Sunday afternoon and Sunday night then promptly passed the responsibility to me because he needed a nap, then he needed to go to bed early. Some of those old feelings are nagging me right now. We promised a drug test and I am thinking that it might be time for one.
The rules for living in our home are very simple to understand. You get food and a warm place to sleep as long as your follow just a few guidelines.
1. Don't use drugs
2. Don't drink
3. Don't ask for money
4.Look for a job
5. Keep your body clean
6. Keep your room clean
7. Pick up after yourself
8. Take responsibility for the baby when he is there
9. No visitors at our home
10. Be respectful to the others in the home by not taking their stuff without permission, observing quiet times and speaking with a respectful tone.
Pretty much in that order. He has not asked for money, other than sleeping all the time there has been no indication of drug use. He is not doing so well in the other departments.
I have told him that we don't live well together. He is going to have to leave soon I can feel it coming. At least I entered this situation with my eyes open this time.
But for today, at this moment, I am looking forward to going out to eat with my husband. It is not only Valentine's Day but it is also half price pizza night at our favorite place! :-)
Terry, I love your list. Such simple requests. I might print that up...I get desperate and settle for "just be clean and sober!"
ReplyDeleteFor me realizing that my daughter and I do not do well living together was a turning point for me. Forgetting all about the drugs and her life choices...her life doesn't mesh well with ours and that is ok. She is free to live the kind of life she wants and so am I. We just can't do it under the same roof most of the time.
I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's day! Friends of mine have the same problem with their sons. It seems that sons are less likely or able to get a place of their own as compared to daughters. I think that as long as room and board is provided, the less likely they will move out. Why pay for something if you can have it for free? The rules are just a minor inconvenience that can be adjusted as time goes on..... Sometimes it seems even easier to let the rules slip that it is to enforce them because it will just end up in drama and arguements.
ReplyDeleteBris, you are so right. I know that everything you said is true. He shouldn't be here, he won't follow the rules and the bottom line is htat he is 23 years old, married and has fathered a child that I end up being responsible for everytime "THEY" are supposed to be having visits. I chuckled when I saw your response to my post. Thanks.
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