I jinxed it.

I wrote about relapse in my last post. Must it be inevitable?

My son thought he could go to a bar and listen to some music and get up on the stage and sing a few songs and stay sober. When he got back to the sober living facility he got a breathalyzer and was busted.

He has to meet with his counselor today and they will determine the next step. Likely he go back to inpatient for two weeks.

Did he get the money by selling the gift cards that I gave him? Maybe. Does that make me responsible for the relapse? No. His decision, his relapse, his consequences. Did I learn something from this myself? Yes. Only food, necessity items and clothing from here on out.

This is the first time he relapsed that I didn't feel crushed. A little sad, a little disappointed but not crushed. This is the first time that I have felt that it really has nothing to do with me. There is not a damn thing I could have done to stop it.

I am thankful that this happened in a controlled environment. He went back got busted and is dealing with the consequences. This is improvement. He could have decided not to go back to the sober living facility and go on another binge but he didn't. This could be a good thing. I am hopeful that it will be.