Sad Stuff

A friend of my daughter's is struggling with opiate addiction. My daughter has distanced herself from this friend because while she loves her she doesn't want to be around her while she is using or high. She has been through enough of that with her brother.

This friend's mom has reached out to me in the past for advice about how to deal with her daughter's addiction. Today she reached out again. She found needles in her daughter's room. She plans to ask her to move out today. She was seeking validation of this decision.

We all know that there are no cut and dry answers that work for every family. What works for one family doesn't necessarily work for another. What I shared with her is that right now her daughter has a warm bed, plenty to eat and a very comfortable place to get high. As long as her mom is putting gas in her car, paying her cell phone bill, paying her rent and buying her groceries that the daughter has nothing to do with her money except buy drugs and stay high. I told her that she should do what she thought she could live with.

We talked about possible scenarios when she tells her to leave, begging, promising not to use, anger, possible violence, or she could just leave.

The last thing I told this mom is that she is not the cause of her daughter's addiction. She didn't teach her to buy drugs, she didn't use drugs with her daughter, she doesn't load the needles for her. Her daughter made the decision to pick up and only her daughter can make the decision to stop.

I also gave her the titles of a couple of blogs that I read. I encouraged her to reach out to other parents who have already walked this path or are still walking it. She needs to know that she is not alone in this nightmare.