He called.

Yesterday I called the counselor that has been assigned to my son and left a message on his voice mail letting him know that we were wondering about how our son is doing. Later in the day my son called. I am always so surprised when I hear him sober after he has been high for several weeks. He always sounds strong and confident. I let it warm my heart for minute before I put my "force field" back up.

He is still talking about going to chem free living when he is discharged from residential. He was worried about coming up with the up front money. I told him that his dad and I would be willing to help with the money if he completes residential and he has a plan when he discharges. The chem free housing is located within walking distance to lots of places he might be able to find employment. This will be essential because he doesn't have a vehicle and currently has a suspended driver's license.

He asked about us coming to visit. Saturday is family group. My husband and I are required to provide documentation that we attended an Al-Anon meeting in order to be allowed to participate, which is something that would probably be helpful to us both. I attended several sessions in the past and it seemed to help me keep things in perspective. Al-Anon also gave me the foundation to build my recovery plan on and I am really not a "group" person.

My son is also eager to see his son. Last time he was in rehab I took the baby every other weekend on Saturday and Sunday. I really went out of my way to make this happen. I'm not sure I am willing to give my time to do that again. 30 days is really not that long. In fact tomorrow he only has 23 days left. I don't know what I will do, I guess I'll let myself decide when the time comes.

Cautiously hopeful. I can't even say cautiously optimistic. I'm not really sure that I am optimistic, just hopeful. For today that will have to do.

Have a good week.