Yesterday my son sent a text to both his dad and me saying that he was out of food and asked if we would either bring him some food or buy a gift card at a grocery store near him. His dad responded before I did and said he would get him a gift card. I would have gone and bought food and taken it to him but Dad responded first so he got the gift card.
Anyway, I spoke to him on the phone briefly after that and told him that I have his winter and fall clothes and will drop them off today before work. He said he was doing better and that he was going to meetings several times a day. I told him that I hoped it was working for him and that I love him.
This morning he sent a text asking if I would drop the clothes off later because he was on his way to a bus stop so that he could be sure and be at a job interview on time. I told him that would be fine and then he asked if I could take some stuff home and wash it for him. He didn't ask for money so he could do it himself. Maybe he is learning.
He also sent a text that said when things are really bad he wishes he could snuggle up next to me on the couch and feel safe like he did when he was little......or move to Australia. I told him that when things are really bad I wish that he was small enough to fit in my pocket so that I could carry him with me every place that I went so that I could make sure he was safe......and if was a terrible, awful, no good, very bad day, then I wish we could both go to Australia. (this comes from a book we used to read together when he was little).
I hope he is back on track. I have read many blogs where parents said that it seemed like their adult children seem to stay out for less and less time each relapse. I am seeing this with my son as well. The fear I think that all of us POAs have is that it only takes one relapse to kill our kids. I guess on the other side of that is that it could take only one relapse for them to realize they don't want to do it again.
For today my son seems to be moving back to the path of life. I pray this is so.
I encourage your hope but make sure you temper it with reality. One thing Darlene and I did was not do the gift card thing because they can sell them too.
ReplyDeleteYou have a great opportunity to have that face to face contact. We would tell Alex we would be glad to take him grocery shopping if he was clean. Of course he always said he was. We'd give him a budget of we would buy $50 worth of groceries and it was hard but we held our tongue when he bought beef jerky and cookies. But the most important thing was to get face time. It was our chance to encourage him. It took a while for us to learn the difference between encouragement and nagging. Great time to tell him you love him and believe in him.
He has the best of intentions today. I am praying that he is carried through tomorrow and the next days....so he has some success to stand on.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind, I am going to use your pocket comment when I write to my son in jail. It's exactly what I feel as well.
ReplyDeleteMy son would always tell me he loved me "bigger than the street" when he was little and I would tuck him in( we live on a very busy street). Your post brought that to mind and the tears started flowing. we love our children so dearly, even when we don't like them.
Sheri, I don't mind. We do love our children so dearly, probably especially when we don't like them.
Delete