"In addition, I might remind you that homeless may be the path he chooses. I am sorry for that, just stay in contact when you can with love and encouragement. Sometimes words and hope is all you can or should give." Ron Grover
Thanks for the reminder, Ron.
I think I have come to accept the fact that I don't have the right to meddle in my son's business. I have worked on detachment and think that I have managed to do a fairly good job of not letting everything my son does decide what my next step will be.
I enjoyed the weekend at home alone. I just piddled around (that is Southern for "not doing much of anything at all"). My daughter came by a couple of times to eat food from my cupboard and fridge. That was a-okay with me. On Sunday my hubby came home from his camping trip and my older son and his wife brought my granddaughter over for lunch. She is almost 8 months old and is such a happy little girl. She giggled and smiled almost the whole time she was there. She has two bottom teeth.
It isn't easy every day to put my son in his own special compartment in my brain so that I don't dwell on the what ifs and I wonders.
He sent a text this morning that said simply, "Love you". I sent one back that said, "I love you too. There is nothing that will ever change that".
Yes, I will take every opportunity to let him know I love him. I will not take part in his drug use, I will not allow myself to get sucked up in the drama of it all. That is his path and I choose not to walk beside, ahead of or behind him on that path. I will walk a path of my own choosing.
I read this almost every day..hope it helps you too.
ReplyDelete"Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don’t have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don’t need to suffer with them. It doesn’t help.
It doesn’t help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us. Changing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We’re accountable for ourselves. They’re accountable for themselves. We let them go and let ourselves grow.
Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me." Melody Beattie