My son sent a text asking to spend the weekend at our house. He said he is sober, that I can take his phone and that he won't get one the Internet or leave the house. He offered to cook, clean, do any chores that I thought he should do if only he could come here and do his laundry and sleep in a good bed. He doesn't have a bed in his apartment and has been sleeping on a sofa that was given to him by a friend. He is out of food.
He said that he is missing his family and that he has cut off contact with people he was hanging out with to get high. Since he doesn't have a job he doesn't even have that contact with folks. I love him and I miss him and I felt sorry for him.
I told him that there was no alcohol in the house and that there never is when we are taking care of the grand babies. He was okay with that.
I let him come here last night. He cooked for me, brought my food to me an a nicely presented plate. Obviously he is learning a lot working for the various chefs he has worked for. He ate too. Then his brother and sister-in-law brought my granddaughter over for the night. My son played with her and made her laugh. He even held her while I got ready for bed. He was very pleasant to be with.
His thin, more thin than I ever remember him being. He brought some of his clothes home to wash. I picked up a t-shirt that had soot and blood all over it. That about brought me to my knees. If my granddaughter hadn't been here I am sure it would have.
He has been asleep all day. He got up once to say that he hasn't slept this long in awhile. Meth will do that to you. I told him to go ahead and stay again tonight. I still have his phone and will take the computer to my room before I go to bed.
Did I mess up? Will he make me pay later? I don't know. But for now he is safe and asleep. He ate well yesterday and can again today. I will take him back to his apartment in the morning. I just hope a couple of days at "home" safe from the world helps. If it doesn't at least I can say I did my best.
Hope you all are having a good weekend.
I don't even know him but MY heart aches for him too. God, it sucks being a mother of an addict.
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry...not sure why but i do know I probably would have done the same thing. I don't know if it is right or wrong??
ReplyDeleteMessed up? How? Because you love your son.....I don't think so. I think you extended a hand to a young man who is struggling, who is so stuck and probably so afraid, not knowing how he will ever begin to repair the damage he has done. You loved your boy and that is ok. You didn't allow him to bring his addiction into your home....you allowed him to bring his broken self into your home for a little respite from the torment he is living with everyday.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Annette, you did not allow him to bring his addiction into your home. You are spending time with him and giving him a warm bed and food and enjoying his company there is nothing wrong with that at all.
DeleteI've done the same in the past Terri and I'd probably do it again too. I just hope I never have to - My son is 19 months sober.
ReplyDeleteThere is always hope - even in the darkest hours. Hugs......
Ditto to Annette. Remember love can be just as strong of a motivator to do what he needs to do as desperation.
ReplyDeleteI commend you on your passion. There is nothing wrong, but everything right about love. You are the judge of the situation. If he adheres to your terms under your roof, he can stay all he wants and as long as you are comfortable with it in my opinion. Glad that you were able to have some quality time with him.
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