I've read a couple of blogs written by moms who have son's living several states away and are wishing that they could see them during the holidays. My son is in rehab only 30 minutes from my house and he has been there for only 39 days. I have seen him every weekend since he has been there. We talk almost every night for 10 minutes. My son will get a pass to come home for Christmas from noon on Friday and he has to be back by 6 p.m. on the 25th.
I should feel blessed, right? I do feel blessed that he is in rehab. I feel blessed that when I visit I can see his eyes clear and sober. I feel blessed that he is committed to recovery today. I also feel scared and anxious that he is going to be in my house for that long. His son will be with him all day on Friday and most of the day on Christmas Eve. What worries me is what will happen during the next 24 hours before he returns to the rehab.
I guess I need to stop that line of thinking right now. I only have to do one day at a time and if I decide to only one hour at a time. It will be okay and if it isn't I have the tools I need to deal with it.
Sometimes you just have to see it in print! I feel better now. :-)
Praying for yours and for mine.
It's your son's recovery not yours. Enjoy him at home and enjoy the holidays.
ReplyDeleteIf he wants a successful recovery he can make it happen.
(if he doesn't, not a damn thing you can do about it)
The really sad thing about this is that we know what COULD happen and that is a VERY scary thought. I have said on more than one occasion that I really miss being naive. It was so much easier believing that everything was going to be just fine and everything my addict said to me was the truth. Now I know better but I find no pleasure or comfort in being a knowledgeable mom.
ReplyDeleteRon is the voice of reason here, but its not always possible to be reasonable. I would feel the same way you do under those circumstances. BUT, I agree you should try and enjoy each moment knowing that IF something bad happens, you can deal with it then, but hopefully not let it steal your presents moments when things are good.
ReplyDelete(Madyson - boy do I miss being naive!)
Ron is right on point with his comment, and I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteBe very grateful for the sobriety he has under his belt and that he is going back after 38 days. Most rehabs do not afford this opportunity. He has a very good chance.
ReplyDeleteAnna,
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Merry Holidays to you!