Friday, August 26, 2011
This is hard work.....
I am asking for all my fellow POAs to keep me in your prayers. I told my son that he was not welcome in my home until he gets in recovery. I wrote a letter that probably said it better than I did verbally but he refused to take it from me. He denied that he has a problem, he yelled, cursed, cried then walked away. He called and left a pitiful voice message. Blamed me for taking his son from him because he can't visit with him at my house. He threatened to come and take him from me and that there was nothing I could do to stop him. So, I contacted my grandson's mom and told her that I didn't feel safe with the baby at my house this weekend. She agreed. I am feeling pretty beat up this morning but peaceful and relieved all at the same tme.
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I wish I could give you a hug right now. What you just did takes so much courage. It was done in love and was absolutely the right thing to do. I can put myself in your shoes and imagine how you may feel right now. Keep focusing on the peace you felt when you wrote this. This may be a turning point for him, it was for you :)
ReplyDeleteBarbara, if you were here I sure would take a hug. I vaciliate between being okay and wondering if I did the right thing....you know, all the what ifs. When I start that I stop myself. I have to tell myself that it is not my responsibility to do anything but take care of me. He is an adult, he should be working visits out with his son on his own, he should be working his own program, he should be paying his own bills, he is responsible for deciding whether to eat or buy dope. YaYa was right, it is time for a break. I am looking forward to a quiet, peace filled weekend. I wish the same for you.
ReplyDeleteI recently went through a similar situation with my son. He is gone now and won't ever again live in his home town. I feel both liberated and heartbroken, hopeful and terrified. My prayers are with you, Terri.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, a week or so ago, my two year old nephew was too close to my laptop when I had the blogger dashboard open and my phone rang. I don't know what he did, but he somehow deleted my blog permanently. I came back to a notice on my laptop that my blog had been deleted and I would not longer have access to my URL. I thought it was a sign to step away from blogging, but now that the s**t has hit the fan, I really am feeling lost without all the support from out little corner of cyberspace. :(
Boundaries are tough but imperative to have. You're doing the right thing. It's only natural that your son will be pissed for awhile. And, of course, he'll blame you.
ReplyDeleteHe'll blame anyone but himself. But when he's had time to really think about...if he allows himself to acutally think about anything other than himself.
Stay on track...you're doing great.
Thank you all. Yaya, I was reading your post as my phone was ringing and yep, it was my son. I didn't answer. He left a message and he sounded sober, whatever that means. He didn't want anything he just wanted to talk. I sent a text telling him that I love him but I am not ready to talk to him and welcomed him to text me. He didn't. I feel good about my choice not to answer the phone.
ReplyDeleteAddicts will constantly try to make you second guess yourself. Yaya said it, you are doing great. It is not easy, but so worth it.
ReplyDelete