Living a Day at a Time

I still haven't heard anything from my son. I did see that he responded to a post on his Facebook page on Saturday so I know he was among the living then.

My mom sent a text to me on Sunday asking if I had heard anything from him because he had been on her mind lately. I hated to tell her that I hadn't. I think she still feels guilty for not allowing him to come back to her house after he relapsed during a visit with some friends in this part of the state. I have tried to give her permission to let it go. I know that she will in her own time.

My husband and I had a date this weekend. We went to a music event that we both enjoy every year. He was able to play music with some very talented folks and it was great to see him in his element. We are going to start marriage counseling this week and I start individual counseling again today.

We have been married since we were 19 years old and have been through a lot of trials during these past 30 years. The last 10 dealing with an addict has been the most difficult. We haven't always been on the same page when it came to dealing with it and that caused a lot of friction along the way. I think that most couple go through that.

My personality is that I tried to fix it. My husband tends to remove himself from the situation. Sometimes that meant he stayed out until "all was clear" other times he immersed himself in his writing and music and never really involved himself in the daily crap. He would ask his friends for advice, I went to meetings and read everything I could get my hands on about addiction. I developed contracts and case plans. But without my husband's backing they did no good.

Anyway, I am trying to put the past aside and just move through this day with as much grace and sanity I can muster.

I will continue to pray for my son and will continue to have hope for recovery for him.