Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Looking Back

Really we shouldn't look back I guess but I just spent a minute looking at my blog posts for this time last year. I had only been blogging for about 3 months at that time. When reading  my reactions to the situation with my son I almost don't recognize myself.

I was in a terrible world of heartbreak. I can see that I was trying to control the disease and "fix" my son. I felt responsible for everything and everyone involved. My son's addiction consumed me. If it weren't for the guidance of some very straight forward speaking blogging family I don't know that I would have made it through those months.

I have said thank you before and I want to say it again today. Thank you all for commenting and offering your own experiences to me. I have grown through my recovery, today I feel more in control of myself and my emotions. I have learned how to say no and mean it. With your help, I have learned that I can love my son and do nothing to save him because that is not my job...that work belongs to him.

Peace for us all.

6 comments:

  1. I wish we did not have to help each other with such a dreadful task. But at least we can. You have come a long way, baby!

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    1. Thank you, you were one of those voices that brought me back to reality. Can say I REALLY wish I could give youa big hug in person someday? Everytime I see my grandson I think of you and give thanks that I can and pray that you get to meet your grandchildren one day very soon.

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    2. I wish I could give you a hug too! Thank you for thanking me. I never thought I'd be able to help anyone despite of my own pain. I am sure glad that I could! I hope I live long enoug to see my precious grandbabies some day! Love, Helga

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    3. I have faith that it will happen soon.
      Love, Terri

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  2. Terri,

    I often look back to learn from my actions. What worked for me what hurt me and my son. These are lessons I did not enjoy learning but I went there. The long ago pain is still there but those lessons are what will keep me from living the life I lived for 7 years.

    You have done the most amazing thing. You have learned and grown. That is the reward we get from this nightmare. We don't have a choice about following this path but we can continue our life when we do as you have done.

    We are all here for all of us, including you.

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    1. Ron, you were/are a beacon in the dark. I appreciate your honesty and ability to say the words that I need to hear when I need to hear them. Thanks.

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