The folks in my office took a co-worker out for lunch yesterday to celebrate her birthday. We all know what it feels like to be out to lunch with a group of co-workers or friends and after the menu has been studied and meals ordered everyone begins chit chatting. We talk about our pets, partners, parents and invariably our kids.
My co-workers know about my son. I work in an office with a team of 6 women and one man. (Ron, I just heard you groan!) It would be hard to hide the fact that he has "issues" but I don't even really try to. It is nothing that I am proud of but I have learned that it really doesn't help him or me to hide it.
It used to really bother me when talk turned to our kids. I never had anything to brag about with my son. There wasn't a prom for him or a high school graduation. He took one college course one semester. He signed up for a full load the next semester but never made it to class. He has been hit or miss with jobs. He lost his marriage, custody of his son, has legal problems etc. Most of the time I conveniently had something else to do when they were all going out.
Eventually I realized that I wasn't being fair to myself by isolating from people who care about me. I have learned that I have other things going on in my life that have nothing to do with my son. It really is okay for me to sit quietly while the others brag on what their kids are doing. If asked specifically about my son I will answer any question they ask otherwise I try to focus on the good things. He is sober at the moment. He just started a job last week at a bowling ally. Not sure if that is the best choice but I guess it beats picking up cans. My grandson is growing and getting smarter all the time. My new granddaughter will be born within the next 6 weeks and her parents are doing great. My daughter finally got back into school and is learning to be her own woman.
I started exercising again and I'm thinking about taking some night classes. My dogs make me smile no matter what happens. My husband's radio show is really taking off and he has had several poems published and has a possible book deal in the works.
Life is good!
Why am I so lucky to get singled out in your post? Wait a minute, maybe it's just my ego to think I'm the only Ron in this world.
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like you got a great handle on things. From the last two paragraphs it sounds to me like your glass is much more than half full. Our life is what we make of it and sounds like you're making it.
Sounds like a really good place :)
DeleteTerri, all of this sounds like your are doing good :) Boy, do I know that feeling of being in a group setting like that, most of us do. You do have lots more to talk about and I'm glad you decided not to deprive your friends/coworkers of time with you - cause you would be one cool chick to hang out with :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Barbara. I'm not sure I have ever been called a cool chick! :-)
DeleteConcentrate on the positive. Sometimes that is easier said than done, but it is always a wise choice. Glad you are doing well!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you are having face to face contact with your girl and grandkids! Glad you are doing well also!
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