After a good morning with my son I ended having make him leave tonight. When I got home from work he was drunk. He got more and more belligerent the longer he was here. I started to just go to bed and just leave him alone but he started banging around in the kitchen. I told him to get a ride or that I was going to take him back to the place that he is staying.
Of course he got angry. Cussed and told me that I didn't appreciate the breakfast he prepared, the lawn he mowed or the fact that he helped me take the pool cover off. I went to my room and locked my door. He knocked a couple of times, once to ask if I wanted him to leave and the second to tell me that he was leaving.
I went to bed sad but woke up a little bit ago with the realization that he is the one who messed up not me.
I took care of myself and I don't need to apologize for that.
I'm gonna go back to sleep now with a clear conscience after I say a prayer for my son.
It sounds like he is playing games. I'm so sorry, Terri. {{{hug}}}
ReplyDeleteThanks. I needed that hug.
DeleteIt always amazes me when they list off the little things that they did for us, like they have walked on water or something. I know its all part of the "disease" and their poor self perceptions etc....but should I begin listing off what we have done? Because if its a contest....I win!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. The ups and downs of this are exhausting. You did a good job though....you always do and I admire your strength and your kindness.
Annette, your comment about the contest reminded me of something my daughter (who is not an addict) said to me recently when I refused to give her money for fast food, "I deserve money for all the crap I have put up with in this house!" refering to her brother. I had to laugh and said,"Well, if that is the case, I think you all owe me money!". She laughed after she realized how silly she sounded. LOL
ReplyDeleteLOL Annnette & Terri, ahhhh yes I have been reminded on many occassions of what they have done for us, honestly, not much..... I win the contest too Annette :0).
ReplyDeleteAs for the drinking, this happened with my RAS (9 months clean). A few years back before he was a heroin addict he was using other drugs on and off he gave those up and switched to alcohol. He became a full blown alcoholic, so now he is cross-addicted, heroin and alcohol. It used to get really bad at my house every single weekend when he would drink and use, I could never tell if it was the booze or the combo of using both. I've had nine months of peace and I'm so grateful for that. When I look back I don't know how I lived with it, honestly, I would never allow it in my house ever again, I like the peacefulness when there is no drug or alcohol abuse going on.
I found out today that he stole pills from a woman he spent the night with on Saturday before he came to my house on Sunday afternoon. Figures!
DeleteOh no, I'm so sorry to hear this Terri. I continue to pray for your son. It is so heartbreaking. The big turning point in my son's life came after his second DWI a felony this time and now he has 18 months in drug court and five years probation. He is at court twice a week and probation weekly. One slip and he goes to jail. I thank God for this every single day. He had to do a month in-patient and six months intensive outpatient. He is required to attend AA or NA meetings 3 times a week for the next 18 months.
DeleteThe driving him around can be a pain but honestly when I think about it I actually enjoy spending time with him now going grocery shopping, taking him to his meetings, etc.