This is what us POAs have to remember to do. Just get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other while living our own lives instead of trying to control and manage the lives of our addicted children.
I haven't heard from my son since Monday when I sent him a text to tell him his grandfather (my dad) had just had surgery and was doing well. He texts back to ask if his Pop would be okay.
That is it. I sent another text to him on Tuesday to ask when I could come and pick up the money he had for his son. I never heard from him. I knew that this was a wasted effort because there is likely no money for his son by this point.
I haven't called the shelter, I haven't called the place he was working, I won't try to contact my son again. He can contact me when he is ready.
I am continuing to live my life and do things that I enjoy. I will be putting one foot in front of the other with a goal in mind soon. I am going to sign up for my first full marathon!!! Before I allowed myself to be fully consumed by the insanity of my son's addiction 3 years ago, I was training to run half marathons and ran 5 in five months. It was a big achievement for me.
Next February I will turn 50 and I have been telling myself for awhile that I want to run a marathon when I am 50. So, why not!
So between now and next March I will be literally putting one foot in front of the other for miles and miles on almost a daily basis. I may be creating my own brand of insanity but at least it is all mine and not someone elses'.
A marathon! Wow.....my admiration runs deep! Good for you!
ReplyDeleteWow - with my 2 surgeries in as many years on my left ankle, I am glad to be walking gain. I admire your resolve. So often we just forget ourselves while worrying about our addicted loved ones. Days go by and we literally just concentrate on them and their drama while life passes us by. I know I have been guilty of this. It takes a lot of courage to take care of yourself. I call it a paradigm shift to save your life.
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