My son just sent me a message on Face Book asking if I would "float him a loan" and he would pay me back when he gets paid. Supposedly he and his business partner need to have some tickets for a show they are promoting shipped to them and they are short on cash. He says they need $200 to get them through. I didn't commit and just said I would have to talk to his dad about it.
Now I am sitting here thinking that I should have just said NO! I just bought the grandson new shoes and will be paying the child support that his dad doesn't pay on Friday. I really don't mind doing those things but to do those things and send my son money to be used for....well, we know most likely what it will be used for.
Thanks for letting me process here. I already know the answer and will let him know. At least I have gotten past the point of writing the check without question!
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ReplyDeleteOkay, that's not fair! I didn't get to see it before you removed it!
DeleteIt is the same as below but I forgot to put the word "couldn't" in the comment and it didn't make sense.
DeleteSorry Terri. LOL couldn't help it.
ReplyDeleteI should have LOL'd when he asked the question! I will next time. He hasn't asked for anything in so long I am out of practice.
DeleteI'm glad you know what to do.... I am just surprised that they never give up asking. I myself would be afraid of rejection and embarrassment. Keep on trucking, you are on the right path.
ReplyDeleteI sent an e-mail and told him that we wouldn't "float the loan". I fully expected a pleading phone call but didn't get one. He e-mailed back that he understood and thanked me for thinking about it...what the heck is going on?! I guess I shouldn't be questioning it. :-)
DeleteNo, no questioning because you never know what the truth is. I learned a long time ago, if you don't ask you can't be lied to... Plus what difference does it make anyway in the end. You are already taking over his financial obiligations toward his child, he ought to be extremely thankful for that. But I also learned that the more you do the more it gets taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about the question thing. People ask me what he is doing and I say that I don't know what he is doing because I don't ask. It is really none of my business anyway, is it? It makes my life easier that way.
DeleteI know he really isn't thankful for what I do for my grandchild. That doesn't matter. I do it because I want to. It makes ME happy and has nothing at all to do with him.
If I had a grandchild and my son wasn't meeting his obligation I would absolutely help out not for my son but because it is my grandchild, I don't see that as enabling at all.
DeleteSame boat here, son lost his job, is clean, but needs help paying rent. Has a new job, but wont get paid until friday. Said he will pay me some back. That would be nice! But we will see. I know for a fact he is clean, so I felt bad not helping him. Now that he has a job, he can do it him self. I am in the hole again, and cannot help him. Over 500 a month or more.. I am broke. We are moving out of state and I am stressing over my bills, and the cost of moving. Wonder if he is worried about my bills.. hmm guess not. Thanks the post, made me think and hit a nerve. In a good way :)
ReplyDeleteMy son says that he is clean. He moved another state away so I have no way of knowing. It really isn't my business if he is or not. I love him and want him happy and I can't help him be dependent, on his drugs or on me. It is time for him to take care of things on his on. He will be 24 on his birthday. Time for me to let go and trust him to do it.
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