If you guys remember your Sunday school lessons you will know the story of the Prodigal Son. The boy took everything his father could give him and took off into the world on his own, doing everything his way. After he lost everything he decided to come home.
His father saw him coming up the road, unshaven, dirty and undernourished and went to him and embraced him and welcomed him home. He ordered the servants to bring him clothes and to kill the biggest calf so that they could have a party to celebrate his return.
My son was in the state over the weekend and called the night before last to ask if I could help him see his son. The stipulation on my part is that he had to work it out with his son's mom, not show up until I was home from work, he had to be sober, he was not to ask for money when he got there and he was not allowed to spend the night at the house or on the property.
I didn't offer him food, drink, clothing or place to sleep. While I was glad to see that he is alive and was happy that he was sober while there, I was really not happy to see him. If that makes sense at all. I was tense the whole time he was there and was ready for him to leave after about 30 minutes. He stayed about an hour and a half.
I pray to get to the point that I want to throw a party when my son comes to my house. I want to cook all his favorite foods and enjoy his company and ask questions about his life. I want him to feel welcome. I want to watch my grandson play with his dad like he knows that he will see him very soon instead of like he has to get in all his playing in a couple of hours because who knows when he will see his daddy again.
It sorted reminded me of someone giving a kid an ice cream cone letting him have a few licks and then taking it away. My heart broke when I watched my grandson clutch his dad when it was time for my son to leave.
Ugh! It is just easier to deal with when he stays away.
Praying for yours and mine today.
The difference is that the prodigal son came home repentant for the direction he had gone in with his life. He was turning from his old life and was home, ready to embrace a new more honorable life. I think if any of us saw a turn around in our kids it would be easy to celebrate....but until then, its just the same old thing.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! That is exactly the way I felt. It wasn't about "coming home" it was about "passing through".
DeleteYes, staying away is the only way I was able to deal with this situation. It hurts and I miss my girl so much, but I know at least I can cope and go on with my life.
ReplyDeleteHi Terri,
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to be on the sidelines and watch the drama and pain of our children's lives. On the one hand, your grandson needs his dad and I'm sure you want that relationship to be a strong and healthy one. If there is no change in lifestyle, though, it just brings up the pain front and center. So difficult. My heart goes out to you.
Terri,
ReplyDeleteI know the story well, and the father in that story was God, who has infinite amounts of love for his children. For us, its not as easy, but hopefully the day will come. I feel bad for you, its not fair to you to have to go through the pain of seeing your grandson not want his daddy to leave.
Hang in there. Thinking of you often.