My husband I were both raised in similar but opposite environments. We were both raised on Insanity Island just on different sides. He is an only child, I am the oldest of 6. His mother and father fought violently throughout their marriage. Sometimes he became the victim of that. He witnessed things that no child should have to witness. I never saw my parents fight but sometimes became the victim of my father's anger non-the-less. My parents were never home. His were home but they were never "there". He lived in the same clean, well kept home is entire life. We lived in random rent houses and then a trailer that my parents bought and then let fall apart around us.
The common thread between us is that we both would have been taken into protective custody by today's standards.
I know now that mine did the very best that they could. I don't blame them for any wrong doing. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for them.
My husband's parents have been married 54 years, and are getting a divorce. My mother-in-law filed last week after my father-in-law hit her in the face with his elbow because she wasn't holding the wall paper they were putting up to suit him. They are both well into their 70's and my mother-in-law has finally had enough of his verbal and physical abuse. Of course they have both involved my husband in all of this insanity. He is doing really well about not taking sides but is getting multiple phone calls a day from his dad who doesn't quite understand why she left.
My parents are on a Navajo Reservation where my mom is working as a nurse. She hates nursing but loves the culture of the people there. My dad is in his early 70's and in poor health but won't admit it. My mom is 68 and has always done whatever it took to get through. They are there because they didn't plan well for retirement.
My in-laws on the other hand have done nothing but plan for retirement their whole lives.
I hope my husband and I fall in the middle somewhere. Hell, I hope my husband and I don't break under the constant pull from someome who needs something from us all the freakin time.
Don't know what this has to do with anything. I just needed to get it out.
Still praying for us all.
Terri, I think each and every one of us grew up in a somewhat dysfunctional family. Our parents did the best they could at the time and under the circumstance, and so did we. Did we get it right? Probably not all the time. Nobody is perfect. The most important thing we can do is learn from our mistakes. We must try to make the best out of our lives, because that is really all we can do. We need to take care of the relationships we cherish and not let anything interfer with them. You got this, Terri.
ReplyDeleteBris, Hubby and I just need a bit of break from it all. We are planning a trip at the end of the month, something we have both been looking forward to for a bit. We aren't telling anyone, we are just going to take off. This weekend we decided that we are turning our phones off and only checking them occasionally. You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts!