Never say Never?

It's been a long time since I stopped in here. Maybe because stuff slowed down for awhile. My son went to prison for breaking probation and not paying fines. He spent two years in various prisons here in Arkansas. He was a disciplinary problem and ended up "flattening" his time. I didn't see him during those two years even though at one point he was only 20 miles from me. Just about the time he could have visitors he would get in a fight and be sent to isolation. In fact he spent most of his two years in isolation. I got infrequent phone calls. We maintained contact by letter. We were pretty good pen pals during those two years. Our phone conversations were some of the best we have ever had.


I've always said that he could never live with me again. Never!! Never say never.


After two years of not seeing my son, I drove 4 hours to pick him up on his discharge day 3 days ago. I took him a set of new clothes. I watched him walk out of there with his brown paper bag of belongings. I cried. He cried just a little. I watched him almost hyperventilate because he didn't know how to breathe outside of that place.


He's still learning how. He's here with me. Safe for now. Still scared to venture too far away. He has a job waiting for him when he is ready. He will see his son for the first time in 3 years tomorrow.


Right now he is on my back porch listening to music. First time he has been outside since he has been here. Progress I'm thinking.


Am I scared of the future? No, because I don't know what the future holds. I'm just praying that this man/boy will prosper. He's healthy and sober today. If he is successful then  he did it. If he goes back to his old way of living then he did that too. I'm just a conduit to a choice.