2016

I just looked to see when I posted last. It was June 15, 2015. Wow! I used to be at least a weekly blogger and sometimes a multiple times a day blogger. Maybe this means that I don't dwell on my addicted child's life as much as I used to. I don't know.


Four days after I posted last my son's new baby boy was born. My grandson's mom is also and addict with severe mental health issues. They both managed to stay clean for the last part of the pregnancy. My son had a job that kept him physically active from morning to night. He was paying his bills they were both doing great. The day the baby was born my son decided to get drunk. He was arrested at the hospital after a physical altercation with the mom. Good grief.


I wish that I could say things improved but they did not. I had to call protective services on September 19th because my grandson's parents were using meth and were being physically abusive of one another. My grandson spent two months in foster care before being placed in the custody of my oldest son and his wife the week before Thanksgiving.


Our entire family is angry with him because of what happened with the baby. We are thankful that we have been able to keep the baby with the family but we are angry that we even had to be put in the spot in the first place.  I haven't had contact with him since right before Thanksgiving when he contacted me to see if he was invited to go to my mother's home with us. I had to be honest with him and tell him that we all love him more than anything but none of us like him right now and it wasn't a good idea for him to attend the family meal. He became belligerent with me, told me he hated me. I told him that I love him very much but until he is sober and able to take care of himself that he did not need to make contact with me again.


I was shocked that I could be calm when telling him that. I was very peaceful about it. It was the right thing to do at that time.


He is in rehab now. He ran out of options. No one would let him stay with them. It was rehab or the street. I may go see him before he is discharged. It's his life he will have to decide what to do next. He is 27 years old, he has two beautiful son's that he doesn't provide for and he doesn't see. There is all kinds of injustice in that. For the boys and for my son.


I'm rocking on with my life. My divorce will be a year old this month. I'm still working on issues with regard to that. I recently tried to make peace with myself and the ex. That seemed to help with the healing. I'm not dating much. In the beginning I thought I needed to be attached to someone and was depressed that I wasn't. I'm learning that I can be fine by myself. I'm learning who I am without the title of wife and caretaker attached to me. I'm learning I'm okay.


Happy New Year to you all. I'm looking forward to a positive 2016 filled with lots of good things. I plan to spend lots of time with these three precious babies. :-)