I've read and I have heard over the years that addicts often believe they can outrun their addictions by making a major geographical move. My son has tried this several times over the years. The most recent one was encouraged by several warrants for his arrest. Go figure!
He moved to another state with a woman (of course) to avoid being tied to a trafficking "gang". He messaged me on Facebook asking for money to buy clothes so that he would have something decent to wear for job interviews. For about two seconds I thought about it then I sent him a message back that said that I love him and I wish him luck but I wouldn't send money for clothes and I wouldn't buy clothes for him again. I reminded him that he used to have nice stuff and then I told him that I was sorry that he had managed to misplace them along the way. I didn't get a response to that.
I got another message saying that he wanted to come home because he misses me. I told him that I love him and I wish him well. I told him all that I have to offer is my love and my continued prayers for him. I didn't hear back.
The last message I got from him was about his son's birthday coming up. I told him that I couldn't afford to do a birthday party and that I wasn't even sure I could afford the gas to get to the party that the grandson's mom will be giving him. He responded that he had never been away from his son on his birthday before. I told him that I hadn't either. I told him that I can't afford to get him back to the state and that I can't give him a place to stay. I suggested he work something out with my grandson's mom about seeing him. I haven't heard from him since.
He may have been physically present but he was very high 2 of the three birthdays that my grandson has had. Including the day he was born.
I see on FB that he has a job and seems to be doing okay with that. His dad got a text from him last night saying he was headed to the ER for a kidney stone issue. This has been his last resort way of getting opiates in the past. So, if he was doing well with the job it will end soon. Just like all of the rest of them.
I know I sound harsh here. I have had to put a super dooper barrier between me and my son. I'm doing what I can to transition into my new life as a single 50 year old woman. I really can't and shouldn't be spending my time chasing around after a soon to be 26 year old drug addicted man. I look back over the years and the posts I've put here and I am amazed that I have gotten to this point. I love my son with all of my heart but I realize now that I have done everything that I can do for him. It is his turn to take care of things for himself.
I hope you all have a great Labor Day! I had a great weekend with my grandson. He is on his way back home to his mom and his nana. I'll use the rest of the day to rest from his visit and get ready for the short work week. :-)
You do not sound harsh. You are simply living in the world of "what is". It is much healthier for all when we understand what our life is and how it supports our addicted child.
ReplyDeleteYour son will do what he must when he understands life can be more without drugs. Till then you are doing right taking care of yourself.
Terri, you have grown by leaps and bounds! I am glad that you are taking care of yourself. You don't sound harsh, it's reality.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this is so sad I understand as a parent your children should have not suffered to get the help that you thought you were getting I was referred to this program.
ReplyDeleteHow long does marijuana stay in your system
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