It Was Bound to Happen

I knew this day would come sooner or later. My grandson's mom is pregnant with her current boyfriend's baby. She is only 21 and this baby making is a family tradition for her. I was hoping that she was seeing a different way of living and gaining self-esteem. She and I are close and I am scared for her. I am not sure she is happy about this. They are engaged now. Neither can support themselves. I wanted more for her than this.

Enough of that!!!  Just praying it all works out and that my grandson doesn't suffer. It could be the perfect thing. I don't know. I need to practice letting go and letting God take over.

SIGH!!!

Week Three

This is starting the third week with my son at my uncle's home. He is working everyday digging post  holes and carrying lumber. This is the most physically demanding job he has ever had.

I have only spoken to him a couple of times. We text a couple of times a week. He seems to be feeling good and seems to be proud that he made this choice. Of course the only other choice he had was to stay on the streets where he was.

I am happy that he is alive. This is different for me than any other time that he has tried to get straight. I have zero expectations. I have hope that he will succeed...and yes, I believe that he can do this. If he doesn't....well, he knows what the consequence will be. He will be homeless and will not have contact with us until he does get sober.

This is a pretty calm place to be right now.

He got on the bus....

My son made it to my uncle's house. Two of my sisters made sure he got there. My mom called to tell me that he has been calling her for the past couple of weeks about what to do. Everyone feels good about this...I am apprehensive. I just don't want him to hurt anyone else.

I guess we will see what happens.

This is what my baby sister said.....

My son contacted his aunt, my sister, about picking him up tomorrow. She chewed him a "new one" as they say. She is really calm and quiet, the last person anyone would expect to use foul language or raise her voice. I practically raised her so she is protective of me.

She told my son how much hell he has put me through and how he needed to grow up, how disrespectful of her and her family he has been. He was willing to come to her house wasted and expose her kids to that. More importantly, she told him that she loves him and will always love him and that he is part of her family and nothing will change that. However, she will distance herself and her children from him when he is in active addiction.

She surprised herself but I think she was proud of how she handled it. She did great. She agreed to pick him up tomorrow and get him to my uncle. She has a plan in place....no money, she will buy his lunch. If he screws up his is will never get anything from her again.

I feel guilty that the poison has touched someone else in my family.

I love my sister!

And here is me, kicking my own ass......

3:00 a.m. call from the bus station, "Mom, they are giving me a little trouble here".

Bus station guy, "Your son is very, very intoxicated and they are not going to let him on the bus. He has cuts and scratches all over his head, face and legs. We don't want to call the police, so he just needs to leave".

I thanked the guy and told him that this was my son's situation to handle and to tell my son that I didn't want to talk to him again tonight (morning).

I don't know what is going on with him. He could be in jail. He tends to be very belligerent when he is drunk or coming off of a high. He could be in the hospital....who knows???

I contacted my sister this morning to let her know what is going on and not to plan to go to the bus station. She said that if this is what is going on that she doesn't want him at her house around her kids. I told her that I don't want him at her house around her kids either.

Crap! Crap! Crap!


Update:
Still kicking my own ass but he is not in jail or on the street. He called from a phone number not known to me and said, "Mom, I am really f*&%ed right now". I told him he f&*#$ed himself this time. He tried to tell me he got jumped and his piece of crap phone was stolen and all his money was taken. I reminded him that he called me last night. He said, "From the bus station?". Yep, from the bus station, son. I told him he was going to just have to deal with it and hung up the phone then turned it off.

And the question is>>>>

"Can I please, please just come to your house for a few days?" and the answer is......"No".

I couldn't answer my phone today because of work so Dad had to be the one this time to give the answer. My son was very accusatory toward my husband. When I got a chance I called my son back. He told me that he had talked to his dad. I told him that I knew this and asked what his plan was.

He is getting on a bus at 3:00 a.m. tomorrow and is headed to the nearest bus station to my uncle who offered him a job and a place to live. My sister is going to pick him up and let him spend the night at her house and take him to my uncle the next day.

We started talking about how much the bus ticket would cost and he was short about $40. I told him since he had a plan that I would pay the remainder. Not sure if that was the right thing to do or not. He is trying to do something different so I feel like I want to help. I may kick my own ass later.

I thanked my sister and told her that I almost felt like I needed to come and get him and deal with it myself but that it wouldn't do either of us any good. She said that she wouldn't have let me come get him anyway. She is my baby sister so she was pretty brave to challenge me! LOL

So that is the plan. I pray that it works out for him. I will take my grandson to visit him at my uncle's house 2 hours away for a little while on Sunday.

Lord have mercy! Really....Lord Have Mercy!

...and this is what happened today.....

I have had a very stressful week at work. One of my co-workers had to take a leave of absence due to a problem with 20 year old son. I may blog about that at another time. So, I have had to take over her duties because I held her position for 5 years before moving on to my current job. So that is me. I can deal with me. :-)

My 19 year old daughter is having roommate issues and job issues. I handed that back to her today.

My 23 year old son who is the purpose of this blog called today about 5 times while I am busy dealing with an all day meeting with crap that is not really mine but I am dealing with. First he said he really needed to come here and see his son. I said instead of birthday money for my son I will pay for a bus ticket to come home and see his son on his birthday. Okay that was cool. Then he called and said he needed to come home sooner than that. I reminded him that he couldn't come here. He asked, "Not even until I get on my feet again?". I reminded him that we tried that and within 2 days he was getting high again. Oh, you all will be surprised to hear that he said it won't happen this time if we give him one more chance.

I can't do it again you guys. Am I wrong? I don't think I am.

The next thing he said was that he planned to go live with my uncle who offered him a job. I told him to get a bus ticket to the town closest to him and ask him to come and pick him up. My son was hesitant.

I can't help but think he wanted to get back here for not so good reasons.

I miss him, I love him but I can't have him here.

Peace and love to you all.